The first guinea pig in my family was named Herbert. He died of some horrible lockjaw disease. I’m really hoping the second guinea pig in my family doesn’t die, because it’s me.
You see, I’m not only a product tester for electric skateboard companies, I pay them for the privilege. So do you and everyone else who participates in the thinly-veiled madness that is esk8. This uneasy relationship works because no one points out the fact that companies routinely release prototype-level gear and sit back to see what happens.
People dive in wallet-first, the experimental truck design or other innovative feature breaks, they post their injuries on Instagram, the pitchforks come out, and then someone posts a dog riding a board and all is forgotten.
Certainly no one is a big enough dick to write an entire article about it.
Silence is not powerful.
So how do they get away with it? For one thing, it’s an unregulated industry. Unlike cars, there’s no shadowy safety board or regulatory committee reviewing esk8s one-by-one. Yet. To be clear, I am not calling for that kind of shit. That is a serious fun vacuum.
Another factor is the stockholm syndrome exhibited by the people who buy the boards. After dropping a good chunk of change on a bad board, it’s much less painful to write your failed purchase off as a learning mistake than to call the company who made it to task for selling you untested crap. Yes, people post angry threads on Reddit, but they’re just as likely to get blamed and flamed as they are to get real community support.
Even Loaded, who I genuinely admire, came onto the eskate deck scene with a less-than-confident offering with the Motherboard, where they plainly stated that they welcome feedback and improvements to the board. You know, like how companies test prototype products before selling them and releasing them to the public.
Imagine if they did that with medicines. “We’re proud to introduce VescNanoTrol to treat people suffering from Technological Recklessness. Please report back to us if you experience any horrifying side effects or death.”
There needs to be accountability.
Some companies are realizing that if they just put their fingers in their collective ears and go, “La la la la la la, I can’t hear you”, then people’s complaints don’t gain any traction.
Consider the case of Evolve. Despite reports of Evolve boards locking up and pitching riders face first into the asphalt at full speed, Evolve has basically ignored it. Anywhere people discuss boards you can find people advising against Evolve because of their unpredictable nature.
But they still sell a shit ton of boards because more people say, “Mine hasn’t exhibited any weird behaviour” and ignore the essential gamble they’re taking with their exoskeleton. It’s kind of like keeping a chimpanzee as a pet and defending it because they’ve never acted like other aggressive chimps you’ve heard about. And then they bite off your genitals, fingers and face because that’s what they sometimes do.
But there are signs that things are changing.
Recently, after Wowgo sent their new AT boards out for review (a.k.a. unofficial board testing) and received damning feedback on their rear truck design from PressReset and others, they did the right thing: they acknowledged the problem and suspended sales until they could fix a flawed design.
Likewise, when Arcboards (yes, I talk about them a lot and yes, they deserve it) had a thermal throttling issue with their Aileron board, they posted a video showing first the problem and then how they solved it with a new motor.
THAT is how you do it, Evolve.
Screw it. We’re going to do something about it.
Soon, we’re going to feature a section called, “The Hot Seat”, where we’re going to post a company or person that is ignoring a major issue with their products or service, and keep it there until something is done about it. On the flip side, if the party in question steps up and takes care of it, we’ll be sure to post the successful resolution, too.
For a smart company or person, it’s an opportunity to generate some positive public relations points and show that you’re listening to the market and truly support your customers. For those who don’t care, it’ll help to expose them to as many people as possible.
It’s time we stopped being unofficial test riders and started being something infinitely cooler: happy and healthy customers.
- Calling All Crash Test Dummies - January 25, 2019
- The Mad Rush to the Top of the AT Board Mountain. - January 4, 2019
- The Unhealthy Relationship Between Crowdfunding and Electric Skateboards. - January 4, 2019